Natural Woman?

Guys, I really want to do one of those natural, shop-in-your-pantry beauty regimes. It sounds so simple! You’re supposed to just need lemon juice, honey, aspirin and olive oil. Cheap, right? Well, lemon juice made me rashy, honey made me sticky and I’m terrified to put oil on my face. The only people I’ve heard say it is good for one’s face are anonymous internet types, and we know how reliable they are. I’m holding out hope that a paste of crushed aspirin and water will make my skin look like a baby’s bottom. Stay tuned for updates.